Inner Values

I never fully commited to my values.

I always liked them, and thought it amazing if I was like that or believed that or behaved like that.

But I never fully commited to them and internalized them as a default thought or way of being.

I don't know why. I'm trying to understand why.

Maybe I'm afraid of commiting to one thing, and then labeling myself as being this way or that way.

I have many beliefs, but I feel a lot of times there are big conflicts in my head.

Should I do this, should I do that? Why do I feel this? Is the motive good or bad?

I envy people who are strong in their personal beliefs, and characteristics, and are not easily swayed by other peoples character.

I feel I've been drifting without fully knowing what I believe, what I like, what I value.

I don't want to be easily influenced by other people anymore. I don't want to feel like other people are more amazing than I am, and then try to copy their style.

I want to be able to acknowlede that other people are amazing, be friends with them, admire them, learn from them, incorporate lessons learned into myself, but still remain myself.