Struggles

Everyone has a label.

Accountant, working in IT, photographer, nurse, general labourer...

Everyone has a label.

I don't feel qualified for anything here. Which is wrong! I know it is.

Buy my self esteem and confidence is at an all time low.

I need to go on a farm for a few days and remind myself of what I want to fight for.

I think I need to re label myself from teacher to farmer.

And this time, I wholeheartedly want it, and must throw myself into that medium.

But being stuck in a city such as Toronto, not even downtown, but up in the suburbs, and on top of that I don't even have internet or a cell phone. It's driving me up the walls.

I feel so scattered and unfocused. I can't get organised and plan things properly.

Being back here is completely not like I expected it to be.

The food is not agreeing with me, and I find I've become very shy when dealing with people here.

This is a very lonely struggle. Noone here can quite relate to what I'm going through, nor do they have time to listen and help me work things out.

I miss my friends from Korea.

I miss being able to talk to Maya about how I'm processing things and to get some really interesting way of looking at a situation.

I miss talking to Logan and completely forgetting my worries.

I miss talking to Bernard and feeling his happy carefree vibes.

I miss talking to Liz and being able to say the things I feel without the fear of being judged.

I was so lucky to have had that experience in Korea.

I just have to remember my own ideas, stay focused and follow through.

I know what I want.

I must be strong and persistent.

My lifestyle is possible.