Friday, February 8, 2008


I feel at a crossroads again. The prospect of staying in the same place another year doesn't appeal to me anymore. But at the same time I'm torn as to what to do. I am realizing more and more that things can change at any time, when I choose I can just do something different. I feel afraid of change all of a sudden. The comfort and easy in which I'm living in right now is making me lazy and not wanting to do anything about it. I guess if I knew my contract would end in a couple of months I would be feeling that rush of things changing and moving and having to pack and plan to where I need to go next, but now, since I resigned at the same place, I find I'm loosing the energy to keep doing what I've been doing so far. What if I go somewhere else and I'll feel just the same, looking outside of myself for the answer to my happiness.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are right. Outside as well inside things are in constant change. Looking outside for happiness and relying on others brings you only a momentarily fulfillment, which will prompt you running all your life for an unreachable STABLE thing. Sure, you might argue that all those positive picks ARE the happiness we can have over here and be happy with. Inside you though (as you deal with only one variable - you), it looks to be the more “stable” and the more dependable one. But for that you need an “outside” as stable and as “tailored” toward you as possible. Therefore you should “sacrifice” certain time (as you’re actually doing just now) to build that base. Nothing will be perfect, all coins have two sides, but make your mind (you are mature enough for that, eh?), have a plan, stick on it, and just DO IT ! Then you can focus on you and look and find what you’re longing for. You cannot just change your mind all your life. Where would you end? Look at the good side: you make good money, you know your job, and you have the time to think and let things “settle down”. Stick on your plan, do it and have it behind you! JUST DO IT.