Thursday, December 5, 2019


I'm constantly fighting to be mature, to be kind, to behave like a responsible adult.

I want to make a joke at work, and then I check myself and realize that's not very mature and I need to rein it in.

Being kind to others takes practice. It's very easy to be careless and unkind, but it takes actual thoughtful effort to be kind, especially if there is no reward for your kindness.

Adulting is hard. SO HARD!! It's so easy to not take care of things. But maturity, and responsibility, and goals make for easier adulting. So, baby steps :).

Sometimes I don't notice I fail at these things, and when I do notice, it's so easy to be hard on myself.

But I've realized that no one is going to give me a break, no one is going to pat me on the back and tell me I'm adulting really well, no one is going be proud of how much I've grown and learned and done. No one but myself.

So I've got to give myself a break, I've got to pat myself on the back when I've done things well, and I've got to be proud of myself for all the things I've learned and done.

Image result for be proud

1 comment:

dan said...

Being conscious about you, analyzing and then fighting to reach your standards is an unbelievable achievement, which majority of people are totally unaware of. That shows that you have already established your values and what a person you want to be. Congratulations!
I would suggest though, that in the limits of today’s social rules as well as your values, to be yourself: take an active attitude towards your values, help others, crack a joke, and do all these without expecting any rewards; you wouldn’t get them anyhow.
Yes, adulthood is hard, provided you realize what adulthood is and stands for. A child, even when it does bad things, is innocent because he doesn’t know “good” or “bad” and is not able to control himself. As an adult, at the moment you realize the difference between good and bad and at the moment you are aware of your shortcomings toward your values, you become a “sinner”. But, in realizing of being “stupid” is thousand times better than not realizing it at all. Same with being a “sinner” towards your values; it is the only way in which you are given the chance to change. If you take that chance or not, hide your head in sand or stand up and fight, that’s the next step you and only you have to decide and fight for. So, “sinfulness” looks to be the first step in the path of changing and evolving. But, without “sweat, blood and tears” nothing can be done and you cannot advance and achieve anything. So far, so good!
On top of this struggle towards your values, it is the fight towards passing them to others: your loved ones. That is hundred times more difficult than your personal fight, as you have to decide their future path in life: are they real values or just my shortcomings, I might have to fight with everybody and been hated and wronged, and what if I lose my loved ones in promoting them – are you ready to take that challenge? And regardless of your plight, fruits will be – if – only later; much, much later.
It’s hard indeed, and it sometimes looks like going through fog and darkness, with doubts and disappointments, and wondering if you are right? That actually shows that you are close to one of the peaks in your struggle and a last push is required.
Nobody cares about you? Maybe they are not aware of. They all have their problems too, you know. But just let them know, and if they’re really close to you, they will help you, be assured of that.