Reminder

I think being honest to yourself is the most difficult thing you can do.

It's painful and most of the time avoidable.

But in the end, it is needed. It helps you to grow, to learn and to lead a better life.

***

I have made another budget for myself. My last one got lost when my little memory stick broke. Well, this one is really good, and it makes me feel better about my situation when I look at the value of my Debt decreasing and then the value of my Savings increasing. It's nice to have a reminder to look at, something concrete to look forward to and to see why you are fighting and sacrificing.

It's good to remember.

Courage

It's hard to see the purpose of my life at the moment. I know what I'm doing is going to be worth it in the end, but right now it all feels so pointless and bleak.

Everything has become boring and incredibly uninteresting.

It's difficult to find motivation to do anything.

It's difficult to get excited about anything.

There's no connection with people of interest. There are no people around, with whom I would care to really open up to and be real with.

Everything feels fake and shallow.

I'm listening to this song sung by a 7 year old girl. I'm not religious at all, but this song... Amazing Grace, the way she's singing it, it's really moving.

I find there have been very few people in my life I've been able to be truthful with, and really say what's on my mind openly, without the constant worry of being judged or thought of something I'm not. I try so hard to smooth things over that a lot of my opinions and desires are never expressed. That's pretty messed up.

I was watching this British TV show called "Shameless". It's a bunch of people in a dysfunctional family trying to live their life. I'm not saying it's real, or that people are like that, but I do envy their ability to just say what's on their mind. To speak up if they think something is not right, to yell if need be, to argue if things don't change. To do all that even if it hurts others.

Things have gotten so stale in my life. I need to do more things to challenge myself and break this monotonous existence.

All is needed for all is a bit of courage.

Thanks dad

Thank you for the good conversation we had yesterday.

Even though I know what I want out of my life and sort of have an idea of the direction and the how-to, but it's easy to forget, feel lost and lonely on this road. It's good to remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's good to look at the big picture and not stress the little things.

It makes it easier to enjoy the day to day things and it also makes it easier not to take things personal when they don't work out, because I know what I want and where I want to get in the end.

It gives me peace of mind.

Thank you for reminding me :)

Career

How do people choose a career?

I'm sure for some it just seems normal and natural to pick something that interests you and that you think you are good at.

It's normal, you go to school, study for something, go look for jobs, and what you find, you just go and work and try to move up and get more money and more benefits.

But that's not normal.

It's not normal for me.

I don't really care about a job, or a career. I do know I need to make money to sustain the lifestyle I want, but I don't really care what I do as long as I don't have to exhaust myself and put all my energy into it and then have none left to actually enjoy my life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life is a successful life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life is a good life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life will leave me feeling fulfilled and feeling like I've accomplished something with my life.

I won't feel proud of myself, and confident and learn about myself because all I'd be doing is something irrelevant.

So, how do you choose what to do when you don't really care about what to do?

A job for me is a means to an end. It's for the money.

I know I have to do it, and luckily I've learned what will make me happy and the kind of life I want for myself.

Working isn't it, so I've got to prepare myself for the time when I won't be working.

I'm almost ready to start preparing :).

Milk

And I love milk too :)

Onions

I love onions.

Green onions, red onions, white onions, big onions, little onions...

I love onions.

I wish I could eat onions like they were apples but onions are too spicy.

You have to eat an onion with something else, and if you are full... well, you won't feel too good after eating something extra.

But I want to eat onions.

Onions are so crispy and juicy...

I LOVE ONIONS!!

January Thailand trip latest pictures

So, these are the last pictures from my trip to Thailand in January when I went to a Muay Thai boxing camp. These pictures were on my computer for wow, almost a whole year. Well finally, I got around to putting them on :). These pictures all in random order, but they all have captions so you’ll know what they are. Enjoy :).

Curious puppies on my walk around the neighbourhood after I came back from sunny and HOT Thailand.

One of the owners kids who was there when he was not in school. He was super cute.
 

This was the drive through the jungle to go to the main town if the sea was too rough to take the boat.

It was really steep and had many difficult areas that were severely affected by rain.
 

Loving the ride from the back of the truck :).
 

Love those palms everywhere!!!!
 

And there were lots of banana trees as well! Soooo nice!! :)

The sun was perfect on that day! It was incredible.

This was my new bungalow. I upgraded from my basic rickety bungalow to this nice one that was overlooking the whole property. It had a nice bathroom, huge comfy bed and a nice hammock outside to relax in :).

Ma drinking some glucose before his fight to get that extra boost of energy.

He got oiled up and bandaged up ready to fight.

I had some pretty big spiders in my bathroom. I had to look out for them every time I went in there. Didn’t want one of them to jump out from somewhere… grrrr!

Snorkeling isn’t as easy in wavy waters as it is in a pool. I had my camera in a waterproof bag and I was having fun taking pictures of myself :).

The taxi boat that we used all the time going from our beach to the main beach. The guy was so happy.
 

This kid was really young. It wasn’t his first fight though. Thai fighters start fighting very young. I think at age 7. I saw one of those fights and I think it was just wrong. This kid must have been about 11 or 12 years old.
 

New friends met on the 2nd last day I was there.

Love taking water pictures. Never done before :)
  

At the camp restaurant with the sweetest dog EVER! This was just before I left and I was saying goodbye to her. I think she knew I was leaving… :(

Doesn’t this look amazing? I think it was a kiwi ice drink.
It wasn’t as tasty as it looked, but very refreshing on a hot day :).

On the boat after leaving the island. It was very peaceful and hot.

This was on the night sleeper train going back to Bangkok. It was pretty comfortable.

They do a ritual dance before the fight to thank their elders and get ready in case they die. They don’t fight so hard nowadays, but they used to have fatalities a long time ago. The tradition is still there.
 

And here we have some pictures from the full moon party.

Fire rope jumping. Those were either some crazy daring people or they were really drunk and didn’t mind getting their leg hairs singed.

We got a bucket. That was a crazy bucket… It had, 1 bottle of Coke, 1 bottle of Thai Vodka, 1 beer, and 6 Red Bulls. I can’t believe we drank all that. And it was sooooooo cheap too.

Body art with glow in the dark paint. Yummy :).

They tried to paint a sun on my face. It didn’t look as good as the happy smile.

The boys, Will and Gwill. They took over the bucket. I was done…

An occasionally scary walk between beaches and to reach different restaurants. Very beautiful though.

Last day in the morning after breakfast, before the farewells and boat trip back to the mainland.

Random cool sign on one of the walking trails.

The gym where we worked out twice a day… what a good workout!

The punching bags were in the back of the ring. You were moving a lot not only to get a good workout in, but to also avoid being eaten by the mosquitoes.  

The trainers. From left: Phu, Ma, Neng, … hm, I don’t remember his name.

Restaurant called “Bamboo Hut” on the way to another beach. There were many Cambodians working there. They had awesome food and a very chilled out atmosphere.  

My bungalow was the one on the far left. You can see my blue training shorts drying out on the line in front of it :). I had a pretty nice view of the whole place.

Haad Tien. This was the beach where Horizon Boxing Camp was at. What a beautiful place… Paradise!

He wasn’t much of a guard dog. He kept getting outnumbered by the neighbouring dogs and he always ran back to me whimpering to come and help him out. He ended up sleeping on my porch towards the end of the trip so that he wouldn’t be attacked at night. Poor dog…

AWWWWWWWWWWWW! I wanted to take her home with me!! What a preeeeeeeeety and sweeeeeeeeet dog she was!!!

This was the taxi boat going back and forth from our beach to the main beach about 15 minutes South and West.

Termites roaming around Horizon camp. There were so many. You had to watch your feet walking around at night.

Papaya tree in the back yard. How awesome!

Rainy season was starting. That was some serious rain.

Great ladies having drinks and relaxing at “The Sanctuary”.

Amazing salad when something fresher and healthier was on your mind.

Night and day at Horizon Boxing Camp :).

Taking a break from training, walking, eating, sleeping, watching TV, swimming, talking…

A night at Eden. WOW! The lights were really trippy.
The owner was a really cool guy. A few too many substances, but very friendly.

Early in the morning after a night of partying… WOW!

The camp from the boat.

Morning party shift at “Guy Bar'”. People were partying all night long. Some would go there in the evening and party till the morning, then go home. Others would sleep at night and come out early in the morning and party till noon. Great music!

British Gwill.
He was a funny guy. Good at gambling.

This bird was just here at the camp one day. He had a sick eye, but he was pretty friendly.
 

More pretty palm trees. I want one in my house, or garden, or somewhere to always remind me of sunny and warm beaches.

Playing with fire is not always dangerous. It’s pretty too :).
 

Psychedelic paintings and lighting at “Eden”. An awesome pre-party hangout where you can all sorts of fun :).

German Alex. Very cool guy!

Clive on and Neng. Neng was one of the trainers there. He was such a cool and patient person. Solid like a rock!

The Sanctuary and the beach next to it. They had a place with computers to check your mail, and also a small shop to buy some basic necessities.

This place was downstairs from the boxing camp. It’s called “The Sanctuary”. A very hippy place for detoxing and doing yoga. Very cool people :).