I just realized that I'm not happy.
It's an amazing realization. I always love figuring out why I feel the way I feel.
The times when I'm happy is when I leave Korea and go travel. When I meet people, enjoy the warm sun and eat food that is not Korean.
The rest of the time I cope, I manage. Here, the little things make a difference from day to day.
I think I knew this, but not very consciously.
But now I get it. I don't belong here. I've been here for way too long. This has to be the last year here.
Even if my plans after this year don't work out, I'll have to get out.
I'm too young to be bitter and miserable. Seriously!!
Early next year I'll have finished paying off all my debt and I won't have this burden and responsibility weighing me down. I can afford to take off some time and go somewhere and do something that I truly enjoy.
I think I need a long vacation.
I've done a lot of work on myself here, and I've grown and found out a lot of things.
But, I need to do more and I feel held back here. The usefulness of the situation is gone. I need to be somewhere else so I can keep growing.
1 comment:
What is Happiness......
Pentru mine, cel putin, este sa fiu satisfacuta cu mine insami, cu deciziile mele si cu actiunile mele, deci cu viata mea si cu felul in care mi-am aranjat viata. Hm, poate asta e mai mult satisfactie decat fericire. In fine, asta e cel mai important lucru pentru mine.
Cred ca ce spui tu aici despre Corea nu este din cauza lipsei de fericire ci din cauza plictiselii, deci, ca nu mai e challenging sa fi in Corea. Te-ai obisnuit acolo, ai facut tot ce ai vrut sa faci si acum te plictisesti si simti ca nu mai poti sa inaintezi acolo, deci stagnezi. Sau poate chiar nu iti place acolo si nu ti se potriveste, cum zici si tu.
Si cum mi-ai zis si tu mai devreme, "you are too young to be bitter and miserable." :-)
Dar e bine ca ai stat acolo atata timp, ca ti-ai atins telul de a plati datoria si asta e o fapta mare.
Eu nu cred ca ai nevoie de o vacanta sau un concediu lung, ci doar de o schimbare de mediu. Adica, si cand ai mers in Tailanda, nu ai fost in concediu ci ai facut un curs, si totusi ti-a placut enorm de mult si a fost o experienta buna.
Te pup.
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