Monday, July 15, 2013

Looking up

I thought I was intimidated by people who were more successful in their desired field, or have figured out more things in life. I thought they made me feel inadequate and immature and naive. I thought I was jealous and resentful of their achievements.

To some degree, that might have been true, but now when I'm ready to embark on my own journey, all of that is not valid anymore.

Their struggles and accomplishments are an inspiration, something to learn from and strive for myself.

Thinking that other people have been less fortunate than me doesn't make me feel OK with what I've done so far either. 

I do feel grateful and lucky that I've had the opportunities that I did, and that I've had a safe and good life so far.

But now I feel I need to push more, fight more, grow more, learn more, struggle more, achieve more.


Sunday, July 14, 2013

29 days left

Ok, so I am officially less than a month away.

I've finished my lessons at school, and only have a week of movies to deal with. Then, a 3 day English camp and I'm officially done teaching.

I did some sorting today, which was great. I got some stuff done in the end.

Events

So, I knew that the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who will happen November 23rd, and I'll be in Liverpool then. YAAAY!!

I'll be watching it on TV or maybe go to the cinema and see it there. But hopefully, there will be other people who are into it as well.

What I just found out though, is that there will be a big convention/party/event from the 22nd to the 24th in London, where Matt Smith will make an appearance, BUT, it's all sold out :( :(.

And then I looked for more Doctor Who actor appearances, and I found out that some of the cast members will be appearing at the San Diego Comic Con. OMG!!!!!

BUT!!!

That's going on this week and I obviously can't go :( :( :(. And I won't be able to go next year either because of my internship which will go all the way through to November.... :`(

So, I just found out about 2 great events, which I can't attend :(.

BUT!!!

At least now I know of these events, and I've put myself on their mailing lists, and have signed up as a member, so I'll be getting event updates and hopefully, next time there's an event, I'll know about it in advance and will be able to buy a ticket. YAAAY!!



Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ups and Downs

But it's not always happy and exciting.

There are times like yesterday and today, where I feel miserable.

Unmotivated, sad, down, slightly depressed, antisocial... for no particular reason.

Wanting to escape. But escape what?

I know it's just temporary, and by Monday or Tuesday it'll be gone, and I'll be back to my happy self.

But still... it comes and goes.

I guess it's normal. We all feel down once in a while. Whether there's a reason or not... doesn't really matter. Might just be our brains sorting out through different chemicals and hormones.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Role models

I've been watching interviews with actors.

I find that industry incredibly fascinating since I've grown up with movies and have had huge misconceptions about it all until recently.

What blows my mind is the amount of drive and determination required. The amount of hard work and long hours those people have to put into their work. Not only during the actual filming, but also in preparation for a movie, the training, the rigorous exercise or dieting or learning they have to do for certain jobs.

And then, they have to work with such a variety of people. Their boss, the director, instructing them on what to do, in a good way or not, and they have to perform.

They are lucky though. They have such great role models in that industry. Great, talented and accomplished people they can learn from and strive to emulate.

I think many young people nowadays, including me, are lacking role models. Not to necessarily show you how it's done, but to see greatness. To see the possibilities. To also see the reality of things. To see the struggle that is required to achieve things. To see great personal values and learn of personal strengths required to make things happen.

My search continues...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Personal Thoughts and Reflections

I've got 37 days left here.

It's not really going very fast, not going slowly either. It's just steadily going.

My packing and clearing up clutter has slowed down significantly. My apartment still looks well lived in and homey. Messy, but still homey.

What I have noticed happening more and more now is personal reflection. I do a lot of personal reflection and analysis anyways, but more so now. 

So many things are changing now, and so many more things will be changing very soon.

I'm randomly feeling anxious and unsure of my choices and my future.

I don't know if I've made my choices for the right reasons or only to avoid difficulty and struggle.

I don't know if I'll be challenged enough, fulfilled enough or growing enough.

But I do know, luckily, that my options and opportunities are many and varied. 

I just have to have courage and actually work hard for a change for the things I want. 

That's the difficult thing. 

I've had things come so easily, for so long, and if they didn't come, I just accepted it and found a way around them. 

But working hard for something was rarely a choice that I made. Things just happened.

And that scares me. 

I'm leaving the safety, ease and stability of this place and an exciting unknown future lies ahead. 

I don't want to be a passive participant in my life anymore. 

I want to make choices, good and bad, work hard for my dreams, struggle and sweat, and in the end, feel accomplished and fulfilled that I've put it some effort into shaping my life.

And so...

I hope I've learned enough of myself and things in general to help me make the right decisions when they matter. 

I hope I've acquired good values and a strong character to be a good person and stay true to myself.

Even though there are some things I am not happy about myself, I hope I will continue to work on them and make myself into the person I want to be.

I know this change is the right thing and is happening at the right time.

I also know that what I'm feeling is normal.

I'm just trying to work through it and stay positive.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Countdowns

60 more days until I leave

21 more school days

17 more teaching days

12 Middle School teaching days

5 Elementary School teaching days

4 High School teaching days


Monday, May 27, 2013

78 days

I've sold a lot of my stuff already. Mainly appliances and furniture.

The clothes and nick-nacks will be sold soon, too.

It feels great to get rid of things.

Make space.

Clear the clutter.

And...


Monday, May 20, 2013

85 days

So, I've got 85 days until I fly out of Korea, and embark on my journey yet again.

I've been going through a plethora of emotions. Some conscious, some not so much.

I feel overwhelmed. Not just because there are so many things to do, but the change is so big.

I've been in Korea over 6 years now. This is as much my home as the previous two countries I've lived in. This feels actually more my home now because I've grown so much here. I've been so independent.

I'm excited for the future, I know it's time to go. But still, it's so difficult.

I've enjoyed my time here so much.


Friday, April 26, 2013

Bulls and Zipping in Daegu - April 20,21 2013

After a very long vacation from the very popular weekend trips, I finally joined one. It wasn't so much for me, but for my friend Liz who is leaving Korea and going back to Liverpool in 4 weeks from today. She hasn't gone on many organized trips and feels she's missed out, so now, we are taking advantage of the beautiful weather, and going somewhere as often as possible.

Last weekend, we went to a bull fighting and zip lining trip. It was in Daegu, which is very far SW from my town, and pretty far SE from Seoul. I thought originally to take a bus down to Daegu and meet up the tour group there, instead of going all the way E over to Seoul and then down south. But, because of the mountains and the roads, it is faster to first go to Seoul, and then take a bus down. It doesn't make sense, but it just is the way it is.

So, Friday night, we headed out on the last bus. I was late, and Liz was drunk. That's a very common occurrence for both of us.

We found a sauna to stay at overnight, and after a mere 3 hours of sleep, we woke up and headed out through the labyrinth that is the Express Bus Terminal underground passage world. We arrived promptly at 6:50am and waited with the other sleepy eyed foreigners for our bus to arrive.

The bus arrives, and we all swarm it. Not only to catch the best seats, but to get out of the miserable rain. Luckily, most of our days activities were indoors today so it didn't really affect us very much.

That was a very quiet bus ride. Usually people talk, get to know each other, drink, some even start karaoke. But this time, it was quiet. Saturday morning at 7am, everyone we to sleep and did not wake up until we arrived at our destination.

First stop, Bull Fighting arena. Now, this is not the bloody sad horrible Spanish version. I'm not really in favour of the killing of the bull part. No, here, two bulls are brought into the arena, and when they see each other, their male instincts kick in and they want to fight and claim their territory, presuming they think the arena is their territory  And then the butt heads and horns, trying to out-wrestle each other. The game ends when one bull submits and runs away. If the bulls are well matched, it can go on for the entire 30 minutes, which is what happened for the first match. Then it's a tie. For the next match it was over in less than a minute. Poor bull ran away muuing. The winner was posing big and strong. If he could talk, I think he'd say something like: "Come back here!! I'll show you who's boss!! I'm the boss! Don't you run away!!" Or something like that.

We had some beer to warm us up, some soup to keep us going, and some persimmon magkoli to satisfy our curiosity.










After the bulls, piled back onto the bus and headed out to the wine tunnel. Sounds intriguing doesn't it??

Well, it was really pretty. Unexpected, and delicious.

Originally, it was a train tunnel, but was abandoned, tracks removed and transformed into a persimmon wine cellar. Can you sense a pattern?

Persimmons. Yes. Apparently that area is famous for their persimmon products. They had persimmon everything, and we were there to sample the persimmon wine.

There were no free samples. Apparently, there were a few years back, but now it had become so popular that they figured they might as well charge people for the samples as well, not just the full bottles.

Liz and me walked down the tunnel, and eventually found a table to occupy. We got some wine, got some cheese and enjoyed a very fragrant and unusual persimmon wine.







After all the snacking and drinking, everyone was hungry and ready to devour some meat. Perfect place to go to?? BBQ Buffet! YES! YES!! YEEEEES!!

Our tour organizer William booked the place ahead of time. After all, we were more than 50 people. I think the restaurant staff were a bit freaked out seeing so many foreigners together in their establishment. They were very flustered and were running around to all the tables as we were all demanding more meat, more alcohol, more meat, more alcohol, and a bit more vegetables.

It was great. It finally gave us the chance to sit with random people, talk, get to know each other, and set the mood for the evenings shenanigans.

Unfortunately, the lack of sleep and long bus rides were leaving their antisocial mark on me. I was grumpy, tired, and all the people around me were annoying. It didn't help that they were all in their early 20's with raging hormones, full of energy and ready to party the night away.

I felt old.

I didn't mind it though, I just didn't want to be there. So, I made sure Liz was ok, had found people she could hang out with, and after the dinner was done, and the bus took us to the hotel before heading out to the clubs, I sneaked away and had a wonderful night in.

I read, I watched TV, I had the whole comfy bed to myself, I had some delicious pastries from a nearby shop... I was so glad I didn't go out. I didn't need to prove anything, pretend to be enjoying something when I wasn't. Nah! I just wanted to have a chilled evening, and so I did.

Liz and Maya came back at some point in the night, Maya went on the blankets on the floor, and Liz flopped on the bed next to me, fully dressed and completely inebriated.

The next day, after a quick breakfast, we load back on the buses and head out to the Zip Line course.

I was really excited. I had done it before but my fear of heights and vertigo were not helping me enjoy those experiences. So, I decided to do it again and get over those fears.

Unlike the day before, the weather was great. Sunny, warm, pleasant.

We got there, waited a bit until our turn came, got our harnesses and helmets on, signed away our lives and headed up the mountain.

I was the 2nd to jump. I didn't hesitate too much. It was great.

It had 9 courses and they were all fantastic. One especially was memorable because of it's incredible speed. I was worried the guide could not stop me in time and I'd fly off the other end. I didn't. I was OK.

















After everyone was done, it was time to head back to Seoul, and for me, Liz and Maya, continue our epic journey to the east coast.