Sujata and Sandra last visit

This was in June, before my vacation. I went down to Gwangju, which is about 6 hours by bus from my town. I took the bus. It was a loooooooong ride. It was worth it though. I got to spend a wonderful weekend with two amazing ladies. Sujata from the States, and Sandra from Tasmania.
We had lots of wine, had a wonderful picnic, went to a local foreigner bar and met some other cool people there. And then we said goodbye.
Who knows if we’ll see each other again.

Here are some of the wonderful pictures of the wonderful memories :)

It was a very short weekend, but so worth it!

What I want

After I come back to Canada and finish teachers college, I want to take 1 or 2 years and:

- learn quilting

- learn glass blowing

- learn bushcraft

- work on a horse ranch

- plant trees

- learn to cook real well

- help build a building

- pose for a nude painting at a studio

- learn to chop wood

- learn to make a fire

- visit my friends in Germany, England, US, Australia

- make my own fishing rod and go on a fishing trip

- learn about edible mushrooms and other plants

- find a man who can be part of this

Western Food

It's the end of the month again.

As usual, I'm down to no money.

This month I'm also down to no food. No fresh food that is.

It's been some time since I was able to just buy something that I really wanted to eat. Something healthy, something delicious, something that reminded me of home, something western.

It's the end of the month again.

On Friday I'm getting paid, and I have to decide how much money I will invest on food for this month.

I have to decide how many wester/expensive things I will indulge in this month.

Will I buy some cheese? Some sour cream? Some dill pickles?

What I would really like is some pudding. Some delicious vanilla pudding. And some salami. Oh...

I would like to make healthy food a priority.

I would like not to feel sad when I look in my fridge.

I would like not to feel homesick when I think about good food.

But...

All of this is my choice.

For now, I can just close my eyes and fantasize about walking into a big grocery store in Canada with a big shopping cart, $100 in my pocket and an appetite. Walking up and down the isles, looking at all the variety of awesome things, the yogurt, the meat, the cheese, the fresh produce, the snacks, the junk on the impulse racks. The colourful boxes and packages. The sale price tags. The samples in the bakery area. The people with super full carts. The people picking through the produce for the best and least bruised. The misters spraying the veggies to stay fresh.

All those wonderful things that I used to take for granted.

I can just dream for now :).

Giggles

So, the giggles continue.

Today the TV/Internet/Phone people came again and finally set up the service. They couldn't do it on Thursday because the infrastructure was not there. This is a new building and so there were no cable poles or anything. But today it got all done!!

WOW!!!

I've got incredibly fast internet. They also gave me a wireless router just in case I wanted to sit 1 meter away at the end of my apartment... hahahaha! But now I can talk on skype and show you all a my whole apartment, and the outside of my apartment too if you'd like :).

Also, got my snazzy telephone. WOW! It's pretty much like a cellphone, except that it's got a base to sit on, it's a 070 number (landline) and it's much cheaper than a cell phone.

Also, my TV package... very very nice.

I've got a load of English channels. Movies, News, Music, Sports... I even have TV5. How crazy is that???

They really did a good job with this.

So, now I'm moved in.

Still got a bunch of boxes to unpack. The kitchen is a disaster. I just don't have enough counter space... and I don't have a utensils drawer either... hm... what was that about??

So, I have to figure it out.

But it's nice to organize everything, get a feel for this place. And it's perfect. Perfect size. The one from before was just way to big for 1 person. This one is perfect.

Oh, and you should see the balcony and how I've organized my plants. It's really nice :).

I'll post pictures soon.

And Abby? Well, she was pretty freaked out at the beginning, but she'd going better now.

She managed somehow to open the closet door and go in there. I really have no idea how she managed to do that. She might have a closet fetish... HAHAHA!

The other amazing thing about this apartment... right in front of it there are 3 rice fields. So, now that it's warm and growing season, they are all flooded with water. And because there's so much water, guess what's in the water?

FROGS!!! Lots and LOTS of frogs. At night, when it starts getting dark, you can hear hundreds and hundreds of frogs croaking. It's like having one of those mood soundtracks of rain or jungle or river sounds. Well, I've got frog sounds.

And, in the morning is another thing. I got birds. They are sooooooo loud, they wake me up in the morning. It's pretty nice though, I can't oversleep that way :).

I'm really happy with the way this whole thing turned out. It took some time to come to terms with the size difference and the way we were told (not told) about moving and the fact that we had no choice about anything.

But, this really is much better.

I drove by my old place yesterday. WHOA! What a dump. Just looking from the outside you can see how old and dilapidated it is.

Out with the old, in with the new :).

Yay for clean new spaces :).

Changes, BIG CHANGES

So, after almost 2 years in this wonderful apartment, it's finally time to move (tomorrow).

The district of education for my province has allocated money to have new housing built for the foreigners in their respective areas.

At the beginning, when I saw the size of the new apartments I was very VERY angry.

The new apartments are the size of my current living room, so a pretty big size difference.

Over the past couple of months, I've gone and visited the new apartment almost every day.

I've watched the progression of the building, the beautification of those apartments, and I must say, now I'm very VERY excited to be moving.

After a very stressful week, everything is finally coming together.

Most importantly, I'm getting the apartment I want.

At first glance, all 4 apartments look the same, but if you look closely, there are subtle differences. Considering the fact that I'll be here for another 2 years, I really wanted to make sure I choose the perfect apartment.

The deciding factor was avoidance of the cold. That was what I had in mind the whole time when looking at those slightly different layouts. I didn't choose an apartment on the side of the building, because that would mean a whole wall was to the outside, hence colder in the winter. Also, I made sure to get the apartment that allowed for my bed and computer desk to be put away from the balcony door, which would make it colder in the winter.

So, I got the apartment I wanted after much debate and negotiation.

Then, I found out that the school would pay for the movers, and on top of that, the way movers work here normally is not just moving boxes and furniture like they'd do back in Canada. Oh no no. They even package everything up for you and unpack it back at the new place. So, I don't even have to pack and unpack myself. I can just stand around and tell them what to do. What a wonderful thing don't you think?? :)

Naturally I did pack some of the things. I just didn't want to seem messy and disorganized. But I left the kitchen, closets and plants to them. They can deal with all of that :).

Also, since I'm leaving this place, I have to also move my internet, cable phone and cable TV. I wasn't happy with any of them though; the service has been pretty unreliable.

I asked my co-teacher if I can upgrade at all. She said no problem. Tomorrow a representative will come to your office and present to you all the different packages and options. I was very impressed.

Today, a lady from QOOK came, which is the rival company to the one I'm currently with: YBS.

She showed me everything and I was even more impressed.

I'll have the fastest internet for 1 dollar less than what I'm paying now, I'll get 71 TV channels with 4 English news and entertainment channels for 2 dollars less, and I'll get a cordless brand new phone for 3 dollars less. I was blown away. Exactly what I wanted and then some.

And then she went on with the details. I'd have to sign a 3 year contract to get this awesome deal and amazing monthly rate. I told them I'd be in the country for only 2 years. She said I'd have to pay a penalty for cancelling my contract 1 year early. I didn't really mind though. But get this, she said: Oh, but you will be leaving the country then right? Me: Yes. Her: Oh, then you don't have to pay any penalty charges. Me: OOOOOOOH REALLY??? NIIIIIIICE!!!

And here's more...

She then said... Oh, and because you are signing a 3 year contract, for the first year you'll get 10% off your bill.

SERIOUSLY????

Oh, and also, because you are signing a 3 year contract, we'll give you a cash advance bonus, so here's 220 bucks for you :).

ENJOY!!!!

I was giggling like a little girl after that. I couldn't contain myself :).

How can I refuse a deal like that?

So, tomorrow they'll come and get it all connected, no connection fee NATURALLY :).

What a wonderful day.

I feel alive and energized.

I need a change, I need a change so badly. And this is perfect. I was worried I was making the wrong choice by staying in the same place, but it turns out to be a very good thing.

I'm seeing a big improvement in my students, my confidence, my teaching method, my discipline and control over the classroom, my interaction with my co-teachers and other staff...

A peace of mind has come over me knowing that I'm doing the right thing, working to improve myself and achieve my goals and dreams in a positive and productive manner :).

Multitasking + Motivation + Warmth = Happy Dana

I'm not good at doing just one thing at one time. I always get distracted and 2 minutes later I'm doing something totally different.

This weekend has been pretty productive. It's been filled with spurts of intense activity, followed by hours of doing nothing. It's all good though, I've achieved what I wanted, and a bit more :).

So, I cooked food and froze it away in portions for next week.

I went through my winter clothes, threw out a whole bunch of them since I haven't worn them often enough, and the rest I packed away in one of my large suitcases.

I suppose this is how it'll feel when I finally leave here. Packing my things in various suitcases, deciding what to keep and what to throw away... It's so exciting.

Finally cleaned up my balcony. It was a mess since last years garden. All the plant pots didn't have a bottom lid to catch the water run-off so the floor was dirty with water, earth and leaves. On top of that leftover stuff, there were 2 bags of earth, a bunch of pots, support sticks, seed packs, fertilizer packs, and a whole bunch of other junk for which I couldn't find any other place.

Well, I finally cleaned up all that crap, and replanted my whole garden, decided not to get any seedlings this year, and got bottom lids for all the pots. So no more messy floors :).

This year, I've planted:

Sage, Gourmet lettuce, Triangle lettuce (some Korean lettuce that I don't know the name of, but its leaves look like triangles), Green onions, Chives, Crispy lettuce (another Korean lettuce that I don't know the name of), Basil, Long lettuce (Korean lettuce), Field salad, Spinach, Sweet corn (which I'll later move outside somewhere), Tiny tomatoes, Cat grass (for Abby), Radishes and Catnip (also for sweet Abby).

Here's the picture. Doesn't it just look so lovely :)

Besides all of this, I prepared all lessons for next weeks classes.

Now I have to go do a load of laundry, wash the few dishes that are in my clean kitchen, take out the recycling, and start on the summer clothing. I'm planning to reduce the amount of clothes I have by half. Not because I don't like them, but because I have waaaaaaaaaaaay too many.

I'm also not eating after 7pm anymore!!!!

Yay for applying my determination for my financial stability to the rest of my life.

No one else can do it for us but ourselves!!!

Reminder

I think being honest to yourself is the most difficult thing you can do.

It's painful and most of the time avoidable.

But in the end, it is needed. It helps you to grow, to learn and to lead a better life.

***

I have made another budget for myself. My last one got lost when my little memory stick broke. Well, this one is really good, and it makes me feel better about my situation when I look at the value of my Debt decreasing and then the value of my Savings increasing. It's nice to have a reminder to look at, something concrete to look forward to and to see why you are fighting and sacrificing.

It's good to remember.

Courage

It's hard to see the purpose of my life at the moment. I know what I'm doing is going to be worth it in the end, but right now it all feels so pointless and bleak.

Everything has become boring and incredibly uninteresting.

It's difficult to find motivation to do anything.

It's difficult to get excited about anything.

There's no connection with people of interest. There are no people around, with whom I would care to really open up to and be real with.

Everything feels fake and shallow.

I'm listening to this song sung by a 7 year old girl. I'm not religious at all, but this song... Amazing Grace, the way she's singing it, it's really moving.

I find there have been very few people in my life I've been able to be truthful with, and really say what's on my mind openly, without the constant worry of being judged or thought of something I'm not. I try so hard to smooth things over that a lot of my opinions and desires are never expressed. That's pretty messed up.

I was watching this British TV show called "Shameless". It's a bunch of people in a dysfunctional family trying to live their life. I'm not saying it's real, or that people are like that, but I do envy their ability to just say what's on their mind. To speak up if they think something is not right, to yell if need be, to argue if things don't change. To do all that even if it hurts others.

Things have gotten so stale in my life. I need to do more things to challenge myself and break this monotonous existence.

All is needed for all is a bit of courage.

Thanks dad

Thank you for the good conversation we had yesterday.

Even though I know what I want out of my life and sort of have an idea of the direction and the how-to, but it's easy to forget, feel lost and lonely on this road. It's good to remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's good to look at the big picture and not stress the little things.

It makes it easier to enjoy the day to day things and it also makes it easier not to take things personal when they don't work out, because I know what I want and where I want to get in the end.

It gives me peace of mind.

Thank you for reminding me :)

Career

How do people choose a career?

I'm sure for some it just seems normal and natural to pick something that interests you and that you think you are good at.

It's normal, you go to school, study for something, go look for jobs, and what you find, you just go and work and try to move up and get more money and more benefits.

But that's not normal.

It's not normal for me.

I don't really care about a job, or a career. I do know I need to make money to sustain the lifestyle I want, but I don't really care what I do as long as I don't have to exhaust myself and put all my energy into it and then have none left to actually enjoy my life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life is a successful life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life is a good life.

I don't think working everyday for the rest of my life will leave me feeling fulfilled and feeling like I've accomplished something with my life.

I won't feel proud of myself, and confident and learn about myself because all I'd be doing is something irrelevant.

So, how do you choose what to do when you don't really care about what to do?

A job for me is a means to an end. It's for the money.

I know I have to do it, and luckily I've learned what will make me happy and the kind of life I want for myself.

Working isn't it, so I've got to prepare myself for the time when I won't be working.

I'm almost ready to start preparing :).